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  • Writer's picturechainakarmakar

The Liberation in Loneliness

What is loneliness?

Fear of addressing self, fear of knowing self?

We are scared of our emotions, that's the reason we look outside and try to avoid it by getting more people in our life, more work, addictions, alcohol, sex, drugs and the list goes on.

Fear of being alone, pain of being alone is always an issue for those who search it outside. It is one of the flaring issues of the society. No matter if you are staying in a joint family, surrounded by people or in a nuclear family or staying alone, most people avoid addressing it.

Explanation of joint families is needed here to understand grounding mechanisms.

Concept of joint family has been dissolved and the nuclear family tells the other side of the coin. We can witness more insecurity, anxiety, fear, nervousness in the society.

Joint families had their own pros and cons. Hardly an individual used to get the desired space and freedom to explore. An era of suppressed society, deep conditioning of suppression and it was well accepted. At the same time the positive side of this system was more stable and grounded children. Emotionally empowered to face the challenges of life. Now the children of the nuclear family are facing different challenges.

Time has come to address the root cause without suppressing them. Today understanding is more deep and grasping is high. So we can expect the pace of evolution to be better than earlier.

Confrontation of oneself in loneliness is very fearful and painful. It is a suffering and one has to suffer, it cannot be avoided. Why is it so painful?

Because when we are alone ego crashes, there is no one to validate our existence. This society feeds our ego, good and bad both.. We need people to continuously tell us how good we are. We need people to validate our dark side too. In the absence of people neither we are good nor we are bad and it is scary. Since birth we are being taught to feel the chaos. Deep silence and stillness scare us and we try to avoid them. Loneliness brings fear which triggers corresponding emotions and thoughts like anxiety, panic attacks, nervousness, anger, depression. This is a good sign because suppressed chaos is getting surfaced and they are ready to leave. The more we struggle to come out of the suffering the more we get entangled. We should drop the struggle, instead we should allow it till the old self dies and a new self emerges. By addressing the loneliness actually we start questioning our existence and actual inward journey starts. This leads to pain and this deep pain helps us to go more inward. One day we find there is no pain and this pain is replaced by happiness, peace. This single emotion, pain, can transform us and can liberate us. It can take two minutes, one month, three years or three lives to experience. Choice is always there.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer".-- Albert Camus

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