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  • Writer's picturechainakarmakar

Unconscious Parenting

Updated: Mar 19, 2019

Dark is followed by light, so in absence of LIGHT we see only DARK

Most of the parents feel that they are the best parents in the world and they know everything about parenting. And to a certain extent, they are right in their attitude because they try to do the best for their children, but unknowingly or out of ignorance they make a lot of mistakes  which damages the  psyche of the child.

I recently handled a case of unconscious parenting. It is a normal phenomenon that when the second child is born, the first one goes through a sense of rejection, internal turmoil, pain and suffering and if all of this is not handled properly, it can be quite detrimental for the psyche of first born. At this time, first child needs equal or rather more attention and should be included in every activity which revolves around the second one. It is quite obvious that the new born child snatches all the attention of the family specially if new born is a girl child.

Almost all of us are aware about the need of the first child but when it comes to reality, people are unable to handle it properly and the child goes through a deep pain, which, in most of the cases, is not taken that seriously

It is the prime responsibility of the mother to create a sense of security and balance around both children but as she is going through a lot of emotional and physical changes during that time, the onus shifts towards the father and immediate family members to take care of the emotional needs of the first child.

A six years boy went through suffering when newly born little sister entered his territory and his internal agony started with lot of suppression. He felt the absence of his mother and separation from the mother for the first time especially in the night when mother went to the hospital to deliver the second baby.

Although his father was with him but being a submissive child he spent sleepless night without expressing it to his father. After the delivery, the mother was recuperating and became busy with the new born and the little boy felt abandoned and loneliness engulfed him. He became sombre.

Slowly he became disconnected from everyone and started suppressing everything, put on weight, felt fatigue, and displayed sudden outburst of anger and hurt. All this resulted in hypothyroidism and his TSH level was very high.

At this point, his parents contacted me. With his healing and proper coaching of the mother and all family members helped the little boy to come out of the suffering.

Now he is break free, his carefree attitude makes him more adorable now. Now he is very expressive and happy go lucky kind of child. It was possible because mother took the charge of the situation and her wisdom and high receptivity for healing helped the child come out of the situation fast. The most beautiful part was when the child understood that he is accepted unconditionally by parents, and at that very moment he started showing the reverse symptoms.

Now all his parameters are normal. TSH came to normal range, weight reduced, fatigue gone, abnormal perspiration stopped, and craving for processed food gone as the emptiness is filled with love.

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