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  • Writer's picturechainakarmakar

In Search of an Adoring Partner

Updated: Sep 5, 2020

In my last nine years of the healing journey, I have come across so many people, who are in search of a loving, affectionate partner, irrespective of their marital status. Why marriages are failing? Why without a partner people are depressed and devastated? Are they able to understand the real meaning of exploration? After exploring enough are they able to understand the real meaning of their search or they land up in more misery?

When I look at the data of people whom I have healed so far, the rate is really scary. People are yearning for companionship and longingness but at the same, they are not ready to give. I don’t want to judge them but they don’t have anything to offer. They offer depression, anger, irritation, frustration, insecurity, self-pity, etc, etc. The search is endless without any contentment.

I can not rule out a particular pattern for this never-ending search but LACK is the reason, and it is everywhere. Unfulfilled childhood, individual journey (despite of having everything), unfulfilled adult journey. Ultimately everything comes to a point where everyone is yearning for real love. Why all of us are in search of real love? Do we understand the real meaning of love? Dating sites are emerging like mushrooms, where anyone can witness the dissatisfaction, depression, people are living in a virtual world, the situation is very alarming. Everyone is dissatisfied with life and in search of happiness and love.

I don’t want to give any preaching on real love, superficial love or the difference between attachment or love, love is love when a person gives or receives. What happens when we don’t feel the love in the same relationship? Why we always try to fix the quantity and duration of love? Let's understand what happens in a relationship of love. Initially, we are attracted to a person at a physical layer, once the physical euphoria is gone, our all emotions get surfaced and we start exploiting the relationship for our own emotional need and we call it so-called unconditional love. Only our awareness and acceptance of the situation and to the person can bring a lot of difference in a relationship. It is applicable to each one of us in order to live a fulfilled and contented life. I have witnessed unmarried people are in search of companionship or a loving partner, get frustrated and perceive the world around them full of married people and all of them are very happy at the same time married people perceive unmarried people to be very fortunate and untrapped but if we closely observe, everyone is stuck somewhere irrespective of the marital status. So the real question comes why?? Even after having everything a person is not happy. We read all spiritual books, we attend workshops, we listen to religious discourse to attain peace or to feel being loved. Most of the time I observe people use spirituality as an escape and they stay in a ball of positivity, which is very dangerous. It is better to live life fully and to explore until one reaches a point where he/she starts realizing that depending on external life is suffering and freedom from all these suffering comes to a cease when one starts the inner journey. No one can fulfill our desires, if one desire is addressed another will be ready, there is no end to it. At the same time, we have to bring alertness to the fact of getting trapped in gloominess because we are trained to live life with all attachment and dependency, so when we start cutting the thread of dependency we tend to get trapped in gloominess. With alertness and proper practices, we can come out of the situation very fast.

1. Explore life fully, live life fully rather than dragging life

2. Receive gracefully whatever you are receiving

3. Bring more awareness and acceptance to the situation

4. In order to receive give first

5. Listen to your heart, not to the conditioning of society. Society is not going to give you the happiness

6. Discover your own passion in order to minimize your dependency on others

7. Communicate with your partner with transparency and be a good listener too

8. Address your loneliness/void

9. Address your desires, address all emotions which get triggered by desires, expectation

10. Bring balance in order to not to get attached to both good and bad

11. Life is a mystery not to be solved, it is to be lived fully without wasting time and energy

Life is a Journey to Experience
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